@KalvinMacleod: Fog is like lingerie for the sky.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: [1st day as police officer] PARTNER: THAT CAR FLEW BY DOING 126 MPH! LET'S ROLL! ME: Um, ok, but I literally JUST got this ice cream cone.
@CorkyCrash: I've become obsessed with the idea that Jesus was a terrible guitarist but no one told him to stop because they were afraid of his dad.
@Steelers1972: I passed a homeless guy who asked "Any change!?" I said "Nope, your still dirty and homeless". We laughed and laughed and then he stabbed me
@kumailn: "Bikini faux pas: are you guilty?" As a guy, it's very hard to imagine the bullshit that women are bombarded with.