@Cravin4: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
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@dragonsorbet: Cute girl: omg I love this bread [At the next table] Jesus: [loudly, holding up a slice of bread] so this is my body
@marcusparkersol: If you hate Capitalism so much, then just write everything in lower case. Problem solved.
@thetits: Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
@causticbob: Kissing the back of someone's neck is a sensuous thing to do. Unless it's a stranger in a queue in Primark.