@AdderallMomma: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
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@jonnysun: noah's google search history: "wat is arc" "why would god want circle segment" "arc or ark" "how many animals" "5,000,000 x 2" "is god real"
@QwertyJones3: [FBI job interview] "Do you have any self defense training?" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing.
@jwoodham: If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said "let them eat cake," I would've been like "wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."