@KenJennings: Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there
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@jonnysun: ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT
@GensPlace: Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen which said, 'Parking Fine.' That was nice...
@AlfKilledMyCat: Learning spanish is bloody hard. I wish the english had conquered more of the world, I'm suffering from their laziness