@jrhennessy: Folks, what's the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal
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@LaceyNycole: Guy: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I'm a Ninja Turtle with my shell on BACKWARDS. Guy: ..... Me: Cowabunga, douche!
@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle
@krisv_723: A haunted house, but instead of masked creatures it's filled with everyone's mother-in-laws.