@jrhennessy: Folks, what's the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal
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@t0shiba: 90 people have swine flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and nobody wants to wear a condom.
@daemonic3: ME: [sees old friend with new wife] Hey congrats on the wedding! Where did you marry? HIM: Maui ME: Oh, sowwy! Where did you mawwy her?
@KeetPotato: me: [answers phone in meeting] "this better be important" wife: "i think we're having a baby" me: [sighs] "you told me that 9 months ago"