@obviousplant_: Follow these tips for a happy Thanksgiving. Printable version available on FB:
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@bakedbrotatoes: -You talkin to my girl? *pops knuckles* -What if I am? *cracks neck* *dislocates shoulder* *breaks collarbone* *fractures skull*
@ThRealBallsDeep: Sorry I threw firewood at you and yelled "shoo", but with the amount of eye liner you wear, you resemble the raccoons that raided my cooler.
@TragicAllyHere: Husband: *snoring* It's like he's trying to tell me something *snoring* What is it boy? *snoring intensifies* Timmy's stuck in a well?
@kyry5: [Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME