@hiplingo: Follow your dream, then Unfollow it if it doesn't Follow you back within 48 hours.
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@canadian_jane: Twitter is cool because it makes me look like I'm texting my friends instead of talking to myself.
@Mr_Kapowski: Contrary to what my voicemail will lead you to believe, I am in fact not sorry for missing your call
@PhuckinCody: [first date] me: what's ur favorite word? her: probably "ethereal," it means- me: mine is "shuttlecock."