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@Parentpains: Follow your instincts, into the path of a moving train.
@HeyoShellz: *only shaves legs in the spots exposed by my ripped jeans*
@bossy_bootz: Of course I can handle constructive criticism
*resents you for the next 50 yrs
@hogrider05: Siri, who's in my trunk?
@msdanifernandez: Did you guys hear about the football player who hits women? No the other one. No the other one.
@MichaelTrying: The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*