@KevinFarzad: Following politics is fun cuz it combines the entertainment of reality TV with the thrill of possibly dying in real life
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@MartaEffing: I joked at school drop off that the white stuff on my kid was powdered sugar, not cocaine, but I took it too far by rubbing some on my gums.
@brendohare: Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
@MakesYouGiggle: Netflix: Are you still there? Me: <in bed, potato chips in hair, dirty pajamas, no makeup, cats surrounding me> Do you really have to ask?