@causticbob: Following the leaking of nude photo's of Kim Kardashian, her personal assistant has been sacked for the delay.
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@WheelTod: So psyched! My 1st granddaughter born today: 6lb11oz! Which is not the name I'd have chosen, but I guess I need to keep up with the times.
@sixfootcandy: My neighborhood is having a meeting tonight about the crazy naked lady and I'm the only one not invited. Weird.
@1Happytwit: This cashier looked at my 12 bottles of weed spray so weirdly, I suspect she's never broken a lawnmower before.
@BlindChow: *interrogating cat* Admit it! You're a Communist! "Meow" A no-good red! "Meow" Tough guy eh? "Meow" We can do this all night. "Mao" You–wait