@JaneBadall: Fondly remembering a time when I could wear an over-sized guy's cardigan and still look pretty sexy, now I just look like a crazy bag lady.
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@shesxridiculous: If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic.
@holymolynicole: My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted.
@TheMichaelRock: HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake.