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@UnFitz: *fools rush in*
*they all slam into each other*
@OfficialMizGin: Years ago I went to a job placement agency.
I left disappointed.
Apparently nobody offers temp work as an astronaut.
@grahamlynas: Remember folks 😂
@HomeProbably: Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away.
@Scdavis24: Two things I will never understand the appeal of:
1) Open relationships
2) Hairless cats
@AndyAsAdjective: *steps out of time machine*
SCIENTIST: so did you kill Hitler?
ME: [holding a cute little baby triceratops] um yeah, about that…