@julezmac: Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no
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@timdonakowski: Love restaurants that put ice cubes in their urinals. Makes me think the ice is a bank vault and my pee is a laser.
@Tups13: No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo.
@Just__J0: 17: Want to see a movie? Me: Sure. 17: Afternoon show only, so no one sees us together. Me: Ok. *Posts pic on IG. Tags all her friends.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her.