@disco_bird: For 10 years I believed my best friend was a mute, but it turns out that someone has just drawn a boy in the corner of my glasses.
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@beefman138: Me : Here, I made you a 'Best Hits of 2017' CD. Wife : This is an unopened blank CD-R. Me : Correct.
@UncleDuke1969: Kids today have it easy! In the old days, before smartphones & Instagram, by the time we finished the painting, our food was already cold.
@TheMichaelRock: Clark Kent: *sits glasses on counter* Lois Lane: Who are you and where did the new countertop come from?