@BedheadBunny: For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids.
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@Brampersandon_: [White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS? *Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*
@TwatWaffler69: You think you're going to win this? I've been acting out potential fake arguments in the shower for years. You don't stand a chance.
@DatManGood: My kid: "I want the new iPad like my friends, everyone has them" Me: "And I want to vacation in Hawaii..disappointing day all around huh?"