@aveuaskew: For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive.
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@jazmasta: I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. "Sir, that is a sleeping bag" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*
@MrGeorgeWallace: Good thing they had us dissect frogs in high school that prepared us for all the times in real life we've had to dissect frogs.
@ArfMeasures: [After performing the Dirty Dancing lift at our wedding] ME: Well that sure impressed them! WIFE [gasping for breath] You're getting heavier