@JosesLovesYou: For a hero, it's pretty cool that Mario is just a dude who ignores his real job, does mushrooms and smashes his head into things all day.
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@mochanya: I've always heard that ignorance is bliss. My question: Exactly, how ignorant do I have to be before I find bliss?
@AnOrangeSNES: "Sir, is this gluten free?" The waiter nods happily "Great," I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, "I'm building a gluten fort!"
@lanyardtwerk: Caught my food taking a picture of me. When I confronted it, it said it was for its people blog? What a creep.
@karentozzi: Welcome to middle age, here's your card. You'll now have a favorite local weatherman and your elbows will never be pointy again.