@DurtMcHurtt: For a mountain to be called Kilimanjaro, it needs to kill at least 1 manjaro.
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@AristotlesNZ: Me: Are these your kids? Boss: "Yep" They're gorgeous! "Thanks" Step kids? "Nope" Adopted? "No.." .. ".." She's cheating on you.. "Get out"
@KentWGraham: I wish my wife was one of those government agents who aren’t allowed to talk about what they did at work all day.
@tastefactory: [turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won't be laughing when it's time to pick it all up