@DurtMcHurtt: For a mountain to be called Kilimanjaro, it needs to kill at least 1 manjaro.
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@4SLars: [Explaining nomenclature to my niece] Well, you see, celebrities used up all the good names the year you were born, Fancy Feast.
@RuthePhoenix: Ever miss somebody so much that you wonder why you became a sniper in the first place?
@ShitJokes: My friend keeps saying, "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
@MouVanLee: Reasons why i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone. 1) I don't have iPhone. 2) I don't have a girlfriend.