@HeelyRiddler: for all #parents out there
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@Kim_pulsive: I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again
@markleggett: MAJOR TOM: Tell my wife I love her very much… GROUND CONTROL: She knows. MAJOR TOM: Wait… Is she with you now? GROUND CONTROL: Bye, Tom.
@shkeeber: Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*