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@animatedtext: For all the people who doubted me:
You were right
@ElliotHetherton: God [creating centipedes]: *falls asleep with elbow on the legs button*
@murrman5: how much would it cost?
"the guy who does our estimates isn't here right now"
around what time will he be back?
"did you not just hear me?"
@MrPooni: "I'm not racist but..."
@Talkinghands69: When your boss says "you're getting a little behind," he won't appreciate it when you wink and say "been working out-thanks for noticing."
@curlycomedy: People who finish their entire stick of lip balm without losing it first should be the only ones allowed to have kids.