@peterjames48: For all we know, half the birds are telling the other birds to shut up.
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@PleaseBeGneiss: Me: *draws pentagram, chants in latin* Demon: *possesses me* Me: *head spins around, neck cracks several times* ahh yeah that’s the shit Demon: same time next week?
@hazelmotes1: On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous.
@KKAlThani: *throws a grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend* *Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it* *it explodes and both of them die*