@Marlebean: For as long as that song was, you'd think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once...
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@Lisa_Laughs_: Some apples don't fall far from the tree, BUT other apples catch a good roll and keep rolling...and rolling...and rolling..
@scorpicpanda: [getting massage from cat] Me: Mmmm, this is the best spa day ever; please don’t stop. Cat: *pushes me off massage table
@pleatedjeans: A long time ago a wine expert said 'it has an okay flavor' but the guy heard 'oaky flavor' & now people want their wine to taste like trees
@7_Cents: *eats an entire box of cereal in one sitting* Wtf there's no prize in this? "Sir, we don't sell cereal. This is Petsmart."