@Marlebean: For as long as that song was, you'd think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once...
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@TheIronSherk: Learned today that it's about 12 min after realizing there's no TP in the stall that you ask yourself how important your socks really are
@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson
@LoriGallucci: "Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"
@carlyken: [Michael Bay directing] "WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK" Teacher: This is your son's 3rd grade play "Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS"