@markhoppus: For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks.
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@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
@shopkins776: I'm scared some kid is going to break into my house and fleek me to death with a bae
@CleverGirl85: Trolling my FB friends by commenting "Looking good ;)" on solo pics of their husbands