@markhoppus: For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks.
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@dafloydsta: Dear Stephanie on Facebook, I do not care that you are watching The Breakfast Club. I only want to know what channel it's on.
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] "Have any questions?" Think the 3 Little Pigs hired the Big Bad Wolf to blow their houses down to collect insurance money?
@BoogTweets: 911: Sir, I understand you think it did it against your will and was aggressive but we can't arrest an auto flush toilet. Me: I WASNT READY