@markhoppus: For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks.
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@NeinQuarterly: A friend's father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as "Your grandmother's in the hospital. LOL."
@preawsaurus: it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you.
@hrtbps: "How can it be global warming," pondered @realDonaldTrump, "if it's cold outside? Cold is the opposite of warm. Science is hard."
@FeelingMervis: I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind.