@ch000ch: my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot

@fro_vo: the most semi-awesome vegetable is the rad-ish

@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.

@StinkyGr33n: Joke I told my one-eyed coworker today: Me: What do you call a terrorist who's missing an eye? Him: I give up Me: A terrorst

@Tmoney68: Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow.