@lecalabara: For eggplant your guests will love, lightly brush with olive oil, toss in the air and blast that bad boy with your ankle piece.
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@ericsshadow: [wife walking in the door after work] WIFE: I had just had the worst... why are our kids in the dog cage? ME: a hello would be nice.
@ColoChiver: Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: *Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS