@BritXNic: For every person pleased at meeting their TC in real life. Another 762 are climbing out of bathroom windows and smashing their phone.
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@BuckyIsotope: My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing.
@SveldtSmelt: Talking to women is a lot like origami. I don't know where to start and I always end up screaming.
@GloriaFallon123: You know you do too much online shopping when your kids start drawing pictures for the UPS man.
@PaperWash: [Signing waiver for the show Cops] No no, you don't have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?