@BritXNic: For every person pleased at meeting their TC in real life. Another 762 are climbing out of bathroom windows and smashing their phone.
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@Reverend_Scott: I have a great story to tell u. "Why don't u just go write a book" Wow, that's- "Don't u dare say it-" a novel idea. "I'm moving out"
@iwearaonesie: *wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@SeanEmeny: "My place is a mess" - Every girl, ever.... "Well in that case, I'm not coming in" - No guy, ever