@SallingsSam: For every selfie you take, the universe throws another rock at our planet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@lolajxx: Personal Trainer- So how have you been cutting your carbs? Me-Mostly with a bread knife or a pizza slicer
@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.
@weinerdog4life: If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache.