@TheTweetOfGod: For Jesus this was anything but a Good Friday.
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@iAmDelFreaky: 2: Where mommy? Me: Mommy's at a meeting. 2: Mommy is meat? Me: No. Well...yes, but only if we ever get stranded on an island. 2: Ok.
@nbadag: [hosting a kids show] ME: ok everybody, what time is it?? say it loud!! KIDS: OWL! TOUCHING! TIME! [camera zooms in on a startled barn owl]
@JohnLyonTweets: [flirting at Taco Bell] Trouble opening that sauce packet? Let me help. [seconds later] Let me help you get that sauce out of your hair.