@vladchoc: For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say "Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"
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@mean_spice: [bedroom] Me getting out whipped cream: I've been waiting for this Gf: kinky, I like it Me already eating pie: what
@Brentweets: I hired a person to randomly show up throughout the day and put baskets of bread on my desk.
@JustDontBugMe: [god creating raccoons] God: Make a giant squirrel that's dressed like a burglar and greedy af. Angel: But... God: Just do it.