@vladchoc: For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say "Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"
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@GrantTanaka: *lowers head *breaks thru 5 tackles *hurdles lineman *runs 100 yards *hamstrung at goal line *dragged back to line of scrimmage -my wedding
@BallsMcBallski: My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny.
@SeanEmeny: Being a fat guy at McDonald's is like being the muscle guy at the gym. People stay out of your way cause they know you mean business
@AbbyHasIssues: I feel like whoever named it a "magic marker" was really overselling their product expectation-wise.