@juliussharpe: For just $28,000, I will teach any politician or politician's wife to wave like a normal human being.
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@WesTheFatKid: "Because Im a goddamned rock star!" wasn't the answer my boss was looking for as to why I was late to work, lesson learned.
@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
@SondraDeeMe: I fake the art of fainting so well my favorite restaurant now refers to me as "Low Blood Sugar Girl" while rushing my limp body to a table.