@icrushedmyhalo: For lent, I'm going to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... so hard!
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@bridger_w: Is one of the steps in the P90X workout to tell everyone on Facebook that you're doing it?
@LABeachmom: The whole "limiting myself to one glass of wine a day" thing is going really great. I'm like 5 years ahead of schedule.
@AllyBallyBeal: Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more
@AndrewNadeau0: No one told me about Snapchat filters so all this time I've just been taping animals to my face.