@icrushedmyhalo: For lent, I'm going to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... so hard!
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@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
@FlyJ_: NyQuil: Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop.
@ElKnuckelhombre: My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said "HELP ME!". It was not.