@MomOfTeen: For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births.
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@AnkCoupleTO: 1st Anniversary: Let's go to Vegas 5th Anniversary: Get a sitter so we can go to dinner 10th Anniversary: Russian roulette sounds like fun
@ArfMeasures: WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down
@juneohara65: I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly.
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful