@outragel: For my 19000 tweet? A joke...
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@UncleDuke1969: [first date] HER: So, do you have a 5 year plan? ME: Yes. Well, the beginnings of one. HER: How far have you gotten? ME: I’ve decided what I want for dinner.
@E_lok44: You know that runny food on your plate that touches all the other food? That's you, butting into a conversation. You're creamed corn.
@XGibbons: Lifeguard 1: How was your day? Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad? 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers