@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids
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@RocketRankoon: Nothing says rock bottom quite like having your head in the oven for 45 minutes before you realize you forgot to pay the gas bill
@VeryLonelyLuke: I've been yelling for years. Now I'm convinced. I'm definitely the only one here playing Marco Polo.
@bobvulfov: COP: u were swerving a lot so i have to conduct a sobriety test ME: ok COP: lets get taco bell ME: no COP: text ur ex ME: no COP: ok ur good
@FuckabillyRex: If you wear it all the time, you'll never know if she's in love with you, or your denim vest, and the chances are it's the vest.