@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Cheeseboy22: My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy.
@just1fool: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's meant to be. So only become emotionally invested with boomerangs and dogs.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Gonna teach a bunch of old white guys the word "bae" so teens stop thinking it's cool and it goes away forever.
@SirEviscerate: You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!