@KentWGraham: For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
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@Crutnacker: Biden: Told Trump about Carter's ghost in the West Wing Obama: Carter is still alive Biden: He doesn't know that
@justabloodygame: "I didn't choose the thug life." I explain, entering an institution of higher learning.
@panmidwest: FOOL-PROOF PICKUP LINE: you're tall for a woman [she gets real mad right here] *place hand on hers* but the perfect height for an angel
@allthenachos: We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again.