@Ristolable: For sale: car. Does not stop. You will have to jump in as I jump out. I have been driving this car for three years. Please help me
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@TwinSurvivalist: Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots.
@bea_ker: Donald Trump's campaign is basically that thing where you say the wrong answer in Pictionary then just keep saying it louder and louder
@Carbosly: When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think "wow, whoever sat here was very thin".