@NateMorrising: For sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have bought a metal detector.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dog 911: what's ur emer- Dog: MY HUMAN IS TALKING TO ME Dog 911: so? Dog: THEN HE ANSWERS FOR ME IN A WEIRD VOICE Dog 911: OMG Dog: OMG
@GrabTheWEness: I lost 30 lbs, and did it without exercising or changing my diet! Ask me how. Not right now, though. I'm waiting for my meth dealer to call.
@neiltyson: Hmm. Nissan Altima TV commercial boasts NASA inspired zero-gravity seats. But if you're in zero gravity, you don't need seats