@InsouciantMan: For sale: Standards. Mint condition. Barely used.
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@just1fool: 5: "Why is the moon so bright?" Me: "It's not, it's pretty dim actually." Moon: "I heard that."
@OhNoSheTwitnt: How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?
@SamuelHLowe: - If you insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you! - Don't be selfish, think about the baby. - What baby? - Oh, so you're not pregnant?