@InsouciantMan: For sale: Standards. Mint condition. Barely used.
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@therealeatwood: ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Actæon into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]
@KeetPotato: "chill before serving" is the best advice I can think of if you're an angry waitress
@ShaeAaron: "I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time." -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior.
@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon: