@Steelers1972: For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat.
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@decentbirthday: [before date] friend: make everything about her [date] waiter: *trips and spills food everywhere* me: *to date* this is all your fault
@theevilwriter: The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off.
@Amusitr0n: *Cowboy stares at the horizon* "A storm's comin" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*