@SteveSuckington: For some reason, the Disney movie "101 Dalmatians" was much more popular than it's sequel "Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."
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@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
@Dawn_M_: Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
@SummerCandyEyes: The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck.
@bombsydoll: me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?