@ariscott: For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.
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@juliussharpe: I hate when my congressman emails me to "take action" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something.
@Stabby_smurf: If I have written a tweet similar to yours, I apologize for your lack of depth and vision.
@Karissajem: Neighbors just got a pirate ship playhouse for their backyard. Drunk me has never been so excited.
@shahrouzt: The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.