@ariscott: For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.
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@Sarcasticsapien: I almost always wear black. Not because I'm depressed or trying to be all dark, but because I'm single and don't want to separate laundry.
@KKAlThani: "Good evening, I will be your waiter for tonight. What would you like to Instagram?" - how waiters should greet people
@Adria_in_bloom: My 5yo just referred to her friends from kindergarten as her “crew” and I’m legit concerned that she’s starting a gang.