@ariscott: For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.
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@KenJennings: Once my son was shooting nerfguns @ the clock &when I asked why said "bc time killed the dinosaurs." My kids are never leaving home are they
@SortaBad: Waterskiing is fun. I wish there were more sports where machines just dragged you around
@Miltgen: *Job interview* "Im gonna need you to pee in this cup" *hands boss full cup* "Let's start the interview" *boss just sips it the whole time*