@WhaJoTalkinBout: For someone who said "Correct me if I'm wrong..." you seemed genuinely surprised and upset when I did.
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@DaddyJew: Daddy, how'd you get that scar? *flashback to me tripping & falling while running from the police after a night of drunken debauchery* War
@Shock_Monster: Nurse: Your name, please? Me: Dr. Feelgood. Nurse: ... Me: ... Nurse: You're not a Dr. are you? Me: No, I won't make you feel good, either.
@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@Sickayduh: "The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-" "Juror is dismissed"