@ceejoyner: For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage.
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@Playing_Dad: Daughter: Daddy, can you tell me a bedtime story? Me: Sure, once upon a time your mom & I used to get enough sleep. Then you came. The end.
@Stellacopter: Imagine falling in love with someone and finding out they raise their hand at the end of a long boring meeting to ask a question.
@Neauxpe: A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes.
@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822