@FBSisnothere: For the first time in forever, I used the term "oopsie-daisy". Couldnt be avoided. I mean what else do you say when you drop someone's baby?
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@turboescortdude: 3 y/o: I want a bagel Me: We don't have any 3 y/o: You're a idiot Me: How did you survive your abortion
@junejuly12: Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Perfectly regulated office temperatures are a girl's best friend.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Snuck a peak at my therapist's notepad after telling her about my childhood, and it was just dollar signs.