@Scigglez: Using the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," only shows that you're unoriginal and know nothing about spinal cord injuries.

@FuckabillyRex: Driving around picking up hitchhikers until I find one that's feeling murdery.

@kharizzmaaa: Happy Mother's Day to the woman who told me "I could fall out at home" when I asked for Fall Out Boy tickets at age 14

@AmishPornStar1: Haters gonna hate... Masters gonna bate.

@jjlob7: I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands. :/