@Matt_The_1st: For the love of God, what is Jesus saving? Is it coupons? I bet it's coupons
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@WheelTod: If you're dying, and have recently lost your car keys, take the opportunity, as your life flashes before your eyes, to try to spot them!
@joeljeffrey: I hate when I lose an argument and then seventeen years later I think up a witty come back.
@Lowenaffchen: Glue a tiny mirror over your driver's license photo so when you hand it to the cops they get confused and start arresting themselves instead
@OldUncleDaveO: If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.