@HallpassCanada: For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be.
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@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.
@SkunkFarts: The American flag should be a picture of a cheeseburger watching TV on a couch made of fries.
@AnkCoupleTO: [being stared at by a bunch of guys as I bathe in an airport washroom] can someone get my back please?
@JiminyKicksIt: I'm not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during "If I Could Turn Back Time" does she mention killing Hitler.