@praisecheese: For the record, riding my unicycle to the bank robbery was a terrible idea.
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@dumbbeezie: If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars
@joeljeffrey: Me: Siri set an alarm for 6am tomorrow morning. I want to go to the gym before work. Siri: Lol
@baconacid: "weed is a gateway drug" "to what? the fridge? Hahaha" *loses car, house, wife, and job because of fridge addiction*
@lawyerthoughts: "There is no such thing as a stupid question." - person who has never walked my family through attaching a photo to an email.