@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.
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@Juicedballs: If babies named Todd don't call themselves "The Toddler" then what's the point of having a douchebag baby name like Todd?
@foxnerdrn: I feel like my parents grossly overstated the number of times I'd be offered candy by strangers.
@DonQuickoats: Which lip am I supposed to bite to look sexy in selfies? Cuz I look like a werewolf when I bite my top lip