@Robert_Beau: For years I thought hitchhikers were complimenting my driving.
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@SortaBad: "I'd like to make a large cash deposit" teller: ok, how much do you have? "Wow can't a guy just share his dreams without being pressured?"
@joeljeffrey: I found out blowing in the dogs face makes her stop barking. I tried the same thing on my wife to make her stop yelling and she bit me.